The Velveteen Rabbit, that book along with The Little Prince used to be one of my favorites way back high school. It was subtitled “How to Become Real”. It was really a children’s book that ended up being read by more adults than children.
The most well-known part of book is the passage where the Velveteen Rabbit asks the Skinhorse, “what is real?” They are toys of course and the question literally means how can a toy become real. But in the allegory of the fable it also means “How does a human being become real?” The Skinhorse tells the Rabbit that the only way to become real is to be loved.
I have always found that a very perceptive thought. Being real isn’t what you do; it isn’t what you accomplish. It is what happens to you. Being real doesn’t necessarily mean loving. It means being loved, accepted,though of course no one is going to be loved if she isn’t a good lover herself.
The best part of the passage is when the Skinhorse tells the Rabbit that you can’t become loved, you can’t become real if you break easily, if you have sharp edges, or if you have to be carefully kept. That’s true with toys. Toys that break easily won’t last long enough to be loved by a child for a long time. Sharp toys don’t pass the test of time.
The same is also true with people. People who break easily, people who are too sensitive will never last long. People who have to be handled with care. Nobody can get close enough to them because they chase everybody away.
There is one insight that the Skinhorse shares with the Rabbit. Being accepted doesn’t happen all at once, it takes time. You’ve got to be patient. both with yourself and with others. I’ts funny, but friendships don’t grow overnight, marriages are not built in a week.
It is strange, but so true that when you entered the Real World, there will always be pain and misunderstanding. There is no being real without pain.
(this would somehow make you think a little.....)
